Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The people you meet at bus stops.

While waiting in the rain for the bus downtown, Luca began crying. I grabbed him out of the stroller, and huddled with him beneath the roof of St.Vincent De Pauls. I think she must have heard his cries, but a homeless lady came up to us, and as she took his hand and calmed him, the emotion that radiated from her was incredible. I just knew she must have lost a child by the way she responded to him. He felt her scarred face with his tiny hinds, and she was trying to just take it in and hold onto the feeling of his little fingers. When he calmed down, she stood in front of the St. Vincent De Paul window, thrashing, and yelling at the janitor, "I'm causing a public disturbance, call the police" her partner came up to us, and said that this is why they'd never see their child again.  I couldn't imagine losing a child, but I could see how that would drive a person to self destruction. I'm not going to judge why she lost her child, because it's irrelevant. I can't imagine how much she's hurting. when they had to say goodbye, she left him with her hat and requested that we tell him about her someday. It just makes me want to cry. It's not warm outside, and she's going to feel the cold without it, but she couldn't take it back from him. 
I feel fortunate to have such a beautiful son who touches all who come in contact with him. Wherever we go, he engages people and brings a little bit of light into their lives. I could never actually affect as many people as he does, no matter how hard I try.

After making and giving out rings last night, I felt ready to do it again today. The response was different this time around though. The first lady I gave a ring to actually approached me, and asked to buy one, but the second said no, and the last person complained about the size being too small. I told her that it would be a great pinkie ring, and when she declined, I apologised that I couldn't afford a ring mandrel so the sizing is usually a little off. She actually said that if I can't afford a mandrel, I shouldn't have a child. That I may be "Too young, and have underestimated the cost and responsibility of having a child." I can afford a stupid mandrel, but I'd rather buy potting soil, or.. I don't know... food? I tried not to let her hurtful words get to me, but they did. I don't get how someone could take something someone made, and just say something so mean. I'm going to try not to let it get me down, but I just don't feel inspired to give away my rings anymore. Not to random people, anyways. I'll leave them at bus stops with notes attached, and give them to friends, but If I see her again, I'm going to let her know how her words made me feel. It's like my friend Jay said, I should feel sorry for people like her. They know nothing but negativity.


  1. It's unfortunate that poeple are so quick to judge others... I know this because that used to be me at on point in my life. One day someone judge ME and I realised all the wrong I had done/thought/spread around me and to myself... but it only took one person to tell me I was doing so, I hope this lady who declined your ring and judged you will one day have a similar experience where she will see the other side of the mirror. Keep spreading the word/love/ positivity with your art work and unique self Pearl... even if you only touch of life, be proud of your work and think about the impact you had on this person!

  2. Wow, That is the most beautiful thing I've heard. (The first part.)

  3. Awww little Anakin.I told you he is an old soul.You don't quite understand what I mean when I say that and I don't explain it to you because I want you to feel it and you do feel it from him.Old souls are very wise they are born that way.they have unsurmountable kindness and empathy for everyone and everything.Coming from a family of old school witches he is like me and dennis also has it.I noticed it in dennis as soon as he was born as i did annie.You had him for a reason and not so much to have someone to love that will love you back , no he's there for you to learn from.I'm starting my biography and I'll give it to you one day to read.Then you will see how wrong you were about me back when you were pregnant with annie.I don't judge people because I have been there done that so many times how can one judge someone else.Sarah is the only one I have a hard time judging and then i don't really judge her i just hate the fact she chooses booze and drugs over her 3 kids then out of the blue expects to have rights with them.that is wrong.I'm glad you let anakin feel and see other peoples hurts and happiness.He gets it he really does.

  4. I love you sweety, but you had no reason to apologize. You were giving gifts away out of love, and if she's too ignorant to see that it is very dearly her loss. Whether or not it even fit her pinkie, the gift ought to have symbolized the love it was made with and the freedom with which it was given, not the finances of the giver. Unfortunately too many gifts are thought of in that respect these days, no matter what is given.


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