Hello my lovelies.

No, I haven't forgotten about you. My laptop is just finally broken. I'll be writing whenever I can, but it will be less.

xo. 

Dirt under my nails and wire around my fingers.

   So my friend Erika insprired me to take a few pictures my plants. Here we go. I'm missing my peas.

I don't even know what this is!

chamomile

lemon tree

 

Chives

Chives

And my rings! I've started selling them at Happy Monkey Tattoo for 3-6 dollars a piece. :]

 

haha luca's hand in this one.

 

Our backyard.

Well blogger was down all day, and one of my posts was deleted as well! I'll have to track it down but Dennis and I went to a Jess Hill show last night and she was just beautiful, dreamy in her movement, and powerful in voice.

Now that you have some tunes, here are some cute pictures taken in our backyard.

The people you meet at bus stops.

While waiting in the rain for the bus downtown, Luca began crying. I grabbed him out of the stroller, and huddled with him beneath the roof of St.Vincent De Pauls. I think she must have heard his cries, but a homeless lady came up to us, and as she took his hand and calmed him, the emotion that radiated from her was incredible. I just knew she must have lost a child by the way she responded to him. He felt her scarred face with his tiny hinds, and she was trying to just take it in and hold onto the feeling of his little fingers. When he calmed down, she stood in front of the St. Vincent De Paul window, thrashing, and yelling at the janitor, "I'm causing a public disturbance, call the police" her partner came up to us, and said that this is why they'd never see their child again.  I couldn't imagine losing a child, but I could see how that would drive a person to self destruction. I'm not going to judge why she lost her child, because it's irrelevant. I can't imagine how much she's hurting. when they had to say goodbye, she left him with her hat and requested that we tell him about her someday. It just makes me want to cry. It's not warm outside, and she's going to feel the cold without it, but she couldn't take it back from him. 

I feel fortunate to have such a beautiful son who touches all who come in contact with him. Wherever we go, he engages people and brings a little bit of light into their lives. I could never actually affect as many people as he does, no matter how hard I try.

After making and giving out rings last night, I felt ready to do it again today. The response was different this time around though. The first lady I gave a ring to actually approached me, and asked to buy one, but the second said no, and the last person complained about the size being too small. I told her that it would be a great pinkie ring, and when she declined, I apologised that I couldn't afford a ring mandrel so the sizing is usually a little off. She actually said that if I can't afford a mandrel, I shouldn't have a child. That I may be "Too young, and have underestimated the cost and responsibility of having a child." I can afford a stupid mandrel, but I'd rather buy potting soil, or.. I don't know... food? I tried not to let her hurtful words get to me, but they did. I don't get how someone could take something someone made, and just say something so mean. I'm going to try not to let it get me down, but I just don't feel inspired to give away my rings anymore. Not to random people, anyways. I'll leave them at bus stops with notes attached, and give them to friends, but If I see her again, I'm going to let her know how her words made me feel. It's like my friend Jay said, I should feel sorry for people like her. They know nothing but negativity.

A baby food recipe.

I've been buying these Heinz Toddler Biscuits for Luca, without thinking about the Wheat in them. I'm ptretty sure they're Genetically Engineered, so I've found an awesome alterative to these biscuits. Two ingredients.

1 ripe banana

handful of oats

• Preheat the oven to 350 °F (180 °C).
• Mash the banana thoroughly.
• Grind the oats in a food processor.
• Combine the banana with the enough ground oats to form a sticky dough.
• Divide the mixture into small pieces and press it into the shapes of your choice (we make simple bars).
• Bake for around 10-15 minutes until golden brown in colour – they become harder the longer they are cooked, so keep the baking time as brief as possible if you wish to retain a chewy texture.

Originally found here!

+ as I achieve.

+Remember to go to school next week.

+Meet the sun, and start waking up at 7am.

+Get into yoga.

+Write poetry.

+Save up for a camera.

-Get certified infant first aid training.

-/+Grow more of my own food.
-Become a part of the Clean Water Coalition, helping get fluoride out of Prince George's water.

Random acts of kindness

I only fully realised after tonight that I've been sinking into depression. Grandma offered to watch Luca (at the last moment) while we went to an open mic poetry night at the Third Ave Collective. I brought a ton of wire and beads and made as many rings as possible, for as many people as possible. The chatter and laughter before and after poets melded together, and oh how at home I felt amid the community. So many different emotions, and styles, and people in the warm little room of the collective. someone even brought their pet cat. On the way home I made and gave away... *counts* ...ten more rings. I left a few at the bus stops and on the fire escape handles. I'm sure the right people will find them at the right time. I was doing heel clicks the entire way home... it feels ten times better giving then receiving. Knowing I made more then twenty people feel great, even for a second, just makes my heart soar to be the cause of something like that. Ah.

When we came home after frolicking about, we found Luca asleep, leaving us to enjoy our night. I feel giddy. On top of all of this, I found out about the Karma Exchange at Chinook Yoga in town. You do jobs for them in exchange for classes. Now money stipulations won't hold me back from learning yoga!

Oh, and Dennis managed to get me to try playing Portal tonight (video game), and I couldn't even get through the tutorial.

Do or do not, there is no try. [an update]

It's 2 a.m., and while I'd like nothing more then to crawl in to bed, there's just so much that needs to be done. Quick update! 

• Looking forward to hiking at Furguson Lake with a radiant young lady tomorrow.
• I've taken on a second shift at the shop. Saturdays from 2-6. 
• I just bleached everything in my house.Not usually big on bleach but the floors were gross from the last people who lived here.
• Put my little baby kale and pea outside for the first time. I'm terrified that they may not last through the night.
• We bought a Triops kit and are waiting anxiously for the little eggs to hatch.
• Making diapers for Japan soon, and a few for some moms around town.
• Would love to paint the walls a vibrant red. 
• Buying potting soil on sunday. More vegetables! Our landlord is letting me plant a garden... in the ground!
• I can't bring myself to plant my veggies in plastic.There's just something about it.
• I find the days have this way of slipping into one another. I'm always left grasping at all that wasted time. 
•   I'm sorry if I don't post as much, or my posts are written in a hurry. I've got lots going on. ;]

Boobyjuice.

Luca has started drinking water out of a cup! His ten month is approaching (the ninth), and I'd like to have him weaned onto grass-fed goats milk by a year (and a half if need be). As a mother, I feel a little sad, but as a woman, I know weaning will leave me feeling liberated. i've given a lot to this little being, and he's thrived. It's really something to know you grew this baby, and you were his only source of food and sustinance for the first 6 months. The gentle "glub, glub, glub" sounds as he drinks down his meal, and falls asleep in your arms, or the little smiles he gives while looking up at you. There's something really amazing at work, and I'm really happy I was fortunate enough to experiance it.

Breastfeeding wasn't easy for me. I was really shy about publicly breastfeeding, and so, for the first three months we didn't leave the house. At all, really. Luca was 9 pounds at birth, and needed to be fed constantly. I look back on the little book I kept track of the hours with, and I feel proud now, but at the time, I remember that I really felt isolated. When he was three weeks old, I remember wondering "Can I do this? Can I actually just give everything up for this little person?"

Is this really offensive?

Looking back, I should have gone out, and I should have felt comfortable breastfeeding whenever. wherever. I shouldn't have felt like if I forgot my cover, or it was too hot for one, I'd need to feed him in the bathroom at the Pine Center Mall or isolate myself. Now that he's 10 months old, he won't wear a cover, and I think I've come to the conclusion that people need to be exposed to breastfeeding. I still have people pointedly ask "have you given him a bottle yet?" Where does this come from? Why the glares? Why do we have such an anamosity towards mothers? I've never seen anything so beautiful as my son nursing. I can just feel the connection between us.

Cool fact; this stuff cures eye infections.

While looking through photos, I found this gem.

Conservative majority.

I can't believe the conservative government won. I'm just... appalled. I'm just going to go on believing it was somehow rigged.

Because Harper seems to love monitoring Canadians Internet activities. Monitor this. fuck you Harper. Fuck. You. 

Boston Pizza in Prince George catches fire.

So my sister comes over today and the first thing she says is "Boston Pizza's on fire". She had me freaking out, and failed to let me in on it being the Boston Pizza on Central rather then the Boston Pizza Dennis works at. It's a bit of a relief that everyone got out of there safely and without injury. From what I've heard, the real threat is if the Mohawk gas station catches on fire. They're evacuating the area and pulling away from it until the threat of the gas station is exploding is gone.

"Restaurant owner Bob Toews said all staff and patrons got out safely. He expects the building will be a total write-off. Toews was uncertain what sparked the fire, but said it didn't start in the kitchen."

Photo coutesey of Dawn Kealing.

Photo courtesy of Kat.

And some video footage