Must be livin' on landmines.

Standing in my living room, watching my mom play with my son I was so overcome with emotion. Just realising that some day she's not going to be here terrified me. Knowing I'm not going to be here some day. I wonder what kind of things my son will say about me, how Dennis will remember me. I wish I didn't fear death as much as I do. I'm really happy for my mom though. It's been a month since she had a cigarette, and she's been choosing her foods carefully. She wants to be here for Luca. I'm so proud of her.

Abeego : the solution to Plastic Wrap!

Looking to reduce my reliance on toxic petroleum products while finding a safer method of packaging food, my search has landed me Abeego. As I own alot of glass wear, abeego flats have allowed me to forgo buying expensive glass storage containers. I was able to just place one over bowls or cups, and the three different sizes they come in in each pack make them a versitile choice. There are smaller squares, perfect for storing smoothies, a medium square I use for bowls, and the largest fits over smaller pans. I found it a bit tricky at first to get it sealed nicely, but it keeps my cheeses and leftovers fresher then plastic wrap, and my babies fruits and veggies crisp. The beeswax smell is subtle and very sweet, and I haven't noticed any transferring into my foods. I find them to be cost effective, as anything reusable tends to be. I can't help but mention the cuteness factor! There is a stitched detailing that comes in three different colors for a subtle little finish. I've had my Abeego products for about four months now, and I see no signs of wear on them. As soon as you wash them, they snap back and look new. What's most important to me, is my families health. I feel comfortable knowing the materials I'm using to cover their foods are leeching into our bodies.

Fuzzibunz, a review and why I'm no longer supporting them.

Diaper crisis averted. I went out and bought some Fuzzibunz Large cloth diapers. so far I enjoy them... except the part where they're plastic. Polyester and polyurethane. I enjoy them, but I can't get over them being plastic.
I'm trying really hard to reduce my carbon footprint, and contribute less to landfill. I hope they last so that I may be able to pass them on to another cloth diaper mama. My only issue so far is how quickly they fill up. I'm changing him every 45 minutes or so right now. I had some problems with leaking, but when I went onto the website, it mentioned that sometimes they will leak if they're not adjusted tightly enough. Since tightening, I've had no problems. What have been a problem are diaper rashes. I'm just giving him more time to be his naked self, and it seems to be helping. The fleece is starting to get a little bit rough on the Fuzzibunz, but that's to be expected with fleece. Another comment on the fuzzibunz... I've heard about some copyright infringement on their part. When checking reviews on Amazon, I got this comment:

"Evolution Diapers has been patent pending for this design several years. Recently Fuzzi Bunz diapers came out with a design that was an exact copy of that patent pending design. Mother of Eden was notified of their violation and they continue to manufacture diapers that violate this design. They are a big company with millions of dollars of revenue making their diapers in China. Evolution Diapers is a small company based in the USA that makes their diapers from 90% USA made components in the USA by work at home mom's. Fuzzi Bunz is bankrupting this Mom's business by continuing to knowingly violate their rights. This mom is supporting her family of 8 on the income that is made from these diapers after her husbands layoff over 1 year ago. This family has lost a lot due to Fuzzi Bunz/ Mother of Eden's theft of their design." -Desert Mom

I've written to the makers of both Fuzzibunz and Evolution and hope to hear a reply. The people at Evolution diapers just got back to me. In all of 8 minutes. I'm impressed by their customer support. :]

The comment from Evolution diapers is:

"Evolution Diapers are now patented(while not yet published by the ever slow patent office), and we have not licensed the adjustable elastic technology to any other manufactures"

When asking whether the comment about their diapers being 90% USA made components was true, they replied saying:


"Our snaps are made in China, the current round of PUL is as well, then after this batch it is USA made, so a mix for the PUL. the Coolmax is made in the USA, the elastic is made in the USA. So its a mix. Also our diapera are being sewn in a... fair factory in Malaysia right now. Our wipes, wet bags, wool diapers are made in the USA.Everything we do with our products is with a clear direction of being ecofriendly and fair trade. We research each component before we buy from a manufacturer. Our Coolmax is also made with recycled water bottles and left over fabric and threads from the manufacturing process, so nothing is wasted. 
We source as much as we can in the USA, but unfortunately it is not always possible."

When asked if it was certified fair trade, I was assured that they're moving towards that and she is in touch with the family sewing the diapers. I hope everything goes well for her and her company, and will no longer support Fuzzibunz. I look forward to doing a review for Evolution diapers, and will leave all of these injustices aside when reviewing both Fuzzibunz and Evolution diapers in the future.

We carry it all so well.

Got my shaw bill today. 200 dollars. Still owe teresan gas 600 as of last month, and hydro 700 dollars. Brutal. Thank god Dennis is paying the gas and hydro...

Annnd we ran out of diapers last night. So out of reluctance to buy any more disposables, we have this. Not bad! Luca got his first two teeth in last night, as well. Bottom front ones. They're so cute! Coffee and then I'm going to town to buy some cloth diapers. Hopefully my washer and dryer gets fixed today. It's been almost two months since I did my laundry on a regular basis. What a piss off.

Are you dead or are you sleeping?

Need coffee..

Better, but not really.
I never should have started buying Tim Hortons french vanillas. They're so tasty. Even after diluting my coffee with half a cup of Almond milk, it still tastes like shit. I really need to go out and buy some ethically farmed coffee. They sell stuff that comes from salt spring island. Less distance between my coffee and I. It's going to be hard not to ruin it by buying french vanilla chemical creamers. I think to much about things that go into my body. I'm eyeing up the dollar store cup I use. It's cute, but probably laced with lead.

I deleted my facebook a few days ago. Felt freeing. I was kind of disgusted by all of it and the new bullshit layout was the end of it for me. I hate having 400 "friends" who I had nothing in common with, and would probably prefer to just not talk to. I was also getting so sick of accidentaly leaving chat on and said people talking to me. But then, I have unrealistic expectations. I expect an instant connection with people. In my experience, when someones not on the same page as you intellectually, if you end up nurturing that connection, the relationship becomes almost parasitic. Said person becomes a real drag. When you get into some philosophical debate, they're argument is almost always baseless and you can tell they've leeched their ideas from a person I'd rather be talking to. I met some hitchhiker who was convinced the only way we could achieve world peace was through micro-chipping individuals and preventing them from feeling hate, lust or greed. Oi.

Awe. baby just fell asleep on my arm. He's 6 months now. He's pretty much become an extension of myself. Funny how natural love comes with a baby. I guess you'll never understand until you create a human being from some genetic material and a few cells, incubate it for 9 months, and have it completely attached to you for 6 months. The thought of being tied down terrified me until I met him. I'm hoping he'll become less reliant on me in the next few years. It's not that I want distance. I just want a bit of Independence. I guess the two come hand in hand though. I haven't been able to get up and go in such a long time. -Why does coffee have to taste so bad?- The relationship between baby and mom is really a parasitic one. I don't love him less for it, just an observation. Why is it that moms just can't say things like that? Why do I feel like I need to apologise for stupid little things? Like not letting my baby cry himself to sleep. Whenever he gets whimpery, I grab him because it's what I feel I need to do instinctively. I fancy myself an instinctual person. Which is why I'd like to move! I'm sick of Prince George. British Columbia is beautiful, but Prince George is too toxic an environment to bring Luca up in. There is no room to grow intellectually. That, and the pulp mills are disgusting. We have like three or four of them spewing carcinogens into our air. City hall tried covering up the formaldehyde which was more then 18 times the acceptable "limit". Sick sick. I feel like I'm in that show, the Oblongs. It's pretty funny how the most exposed to all the toxins are the poor in the downtown hood area. not.