Standing in my living room, watching my mom play with my son I was so overcome with emotion. Just realising that some day she's not going to be here terrified me. Knowing I'm not going to be here some day. I wonder what kind of things my son will say about me, how Dennis will remember me. I wish I didn't fear death as much as I do. I'm really happy for my mom though. It's been a month since she had a cigarette, and she's been choosing her foods carefully. She wants to be here for Luca. I'm so proud of her.